Liar, liar….

Liar, liar pants on fire… it would be easier to know who’s lying if their pants were indeed on fire!

When I was going through separation and divorce in recent years, the lies and betrayal were so rampant, it affected my ability to believe anyone or anything.   The person that I had known the longest, the one I had been through the most with, the one who knew me most intimately, had betrayed me deeply. Needless to say my tendency and ability to trust were greatly diminished.

Marriage and family are sacred to The Lord.  After all He created both.  John 10:10 says that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy… The enemy wasn’t just after my trust with my spouse — that was really a means to an end — what the enemy really wanted was to kill my trust in The Lord… because losing that trust would affect not only me, but my current and future relationships as well.   The failure of my marriage shook my confidence like nothing ever had, and I needed to rebuild, to rebuild my trust not on me, not on my ability to survive, or on my spouse or my family, but on Him.

It was in this time I found what would become one of my favorite verses in the Bible — Numbers 23:19: God is not a man that he should lie, nor the son of man that he should change his mind.  God isn’t the liar or the one who causes others to lie! The enemy is THE liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).

I knew deep inside that my help comes from the Lord, however, that betrayal made believing anyone and trusting in anything feel so foreign to me.  In fact, my whole life felt so strange. Areas where I had felt confidence, where I knew what to do, were wrought with such deep hurt and pain.  Doubt became my new norm, and I listened to wrong thoughts about me and my situation, and cried and worried and cried more.  And even worse, my sons were witnessing me — this strong mom of theirs — collapse and emotionally bleed out.  I could not stop crying… I got to the point that I even prayed, “Lord if my kids can get through this easier without me here, please call me home.”  It’s not that I wanted to die, but I couldn’t bear my sons seeing me hurt like that, completely broken.  I believe this is why God hates divorce… He knows how hard it is on His kids.

It was at this low point I really started reading and listening to praise music, looking for hope.  I knew something had to change.  I was somewhat isolated (avoiding people on purpose) due to my roller coaster of emotions.   Thankfully, I had several Godly girlfriends that would call to check on me and encourage me that brighter days were ahead.  I was emotionally wiped out, and I just wanted to wake up on a brighter day.

It was a process to get to those brighter days, and I (not God) was the one who needed that process.  A big part of that process was getting connected with a ladies’ small group (Bible study), which began a journey that helped me move from “Oh, help ME” prayers to “help them” prayers, and moved me from being more of a “pew sitter” to being in the game.  As my prayer life grew, I started praying, talking to The Lord like a friend, telling Him what I was worried about.  I learned to lean on Him as Jehovah Jireh, My Provider, as The One Who will never leave me nor forsake me, as the One who would perfect whatever I was concerned about according to Psalm 138:8.  Numbers 23:19 became the mortar that held me in a place of trusting The Lord when I didn’t “feel” like trusting. This verse was a reminder that The Lord IS MORE THAN WORTHY of my trust.

You see, we can rely on God’s Word, because He doesn’t have the ability to lie. He said, “Let there be light,” and light became.   His Word says He will never leave us or forsake us, and He won’t. We are the object of His Love, His great, unending, amazing, unconditional, flawless, and yes, Fierce Love.   He has provided everything we need, but we don’t get that by default, for we can only have what He has for us  when we are truly connected to Him and put Him first as our Lord and Savior.   I had done the “Savior part,” but had not been living my life in a way that reflected that He was actually my Lord.

You see, being my Lord means He, not my spouse, not the kids’ sports schedules, not work, not me, is first.  It means He has supreme authority, that He calls the shots.  I was really letting life call the shots and felt like the tail was wagging the dog. My days were full of “good things” — family things, necessary things, and urgent things, and at the end of the day I was exhausted. Many times at the beginning of the day I was exhausted.   I was living life “stretched like bubblegum over a car,” without consistently charging my batteries.

Lose the Bubblegum!

Living that ” Bubblegum stretched life” is not God’s best for me, you, or anyone else.  And if that sounds even remotely like the life you’re living, there is absolutely a better way!

Let’s revisit John 10:10:. “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).”  Let me point out that there are two plans in the verse above: 1) the thief’s plan to kill, steal, and/or destroy what you have, and 2) the Lord’s plan has which is an enjoyable life with abundance, meaning more than enough of what you need. James 1:17 (NLT): “Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, Who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.”  Now, just speaking from a logical standpoint, receiving a gift from someone implies a relationship.   In other words, if we don’t know each other, it would be safe to assume you won’t be getting a gift from me.   In fact receiving a gift from someone usually implies a close relationship because that is how we (people) do it.

God’s love for us is so perfect, and so vast, and so unfathomable really, that He gave us a Priceless Gift in Jesus Christ while we were far from Him.  He has other gifts in mind for us too, Priceless gifts that money cannot purchase — His Peace, Joy, Love.  These gifts can only be unwrapped in His Presence, which is experienced when we are really connected to Him.

Do you believe or want to believe God has amazing things for you? Or that God is good, and He has a good plan for your life? His Word promises those things, and He is the only One Who never fails to deliver on His promises.  Are you willing to take a step towards God and believe He will perfect the things you are concerned about?  What is our other option?  The double W’s — worry and wrinkles? He is more than worthy of our friendship and our trust.

Sometimes we have our foundation shaken, and the hard places in life do that. They shake us. For me that shaking revealed some things about my priorites.  I wasn’t living truly relying on Him — I thought I was — but my choices said otherwise.  I can tell you I am glad I decided to rebuild trust, trust truly founded on The Lord… and the place it has led me to is peaceful, joyful, and not based on circumstances.   Circumstances come and go, but the peace of God and the joy of the Lord can be experienced regardless of the circumstances.   God has shown me, experientially, that when I put Him first He takes care of the things that I used to strive for so desperately.

Wherever you are in your relationship with The Lord, whether just considering your options, looking for your purpose, or already walking in His Purpose for you, there is more.  I want to encourage you to come closer to Him, be intentional about seeking Him and His Way of doing things, and expect Him to show Himself strong in whatever you are facing.

We were put in this time in history for a reason…. seek Him and His Way and experience being Fiercely Loved!

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